Keeping Up With The Jones’
“I can resist anything but temptation”
Oscar Wilde
Learning new coping skills is essential to managing triggers and cravings for alcohol, drugs and other addictive behaviors. Here are some grounding skills to help manage them that work for many people.
Of course everybody is different (and the same.) See if you can benefit from any of them. But this is certainly not an exhaustive list, so please feel free to contribute to work in progress by sharing what has worked for you in the “comments” section below. I double dog dare you to.
As they say, take what you can use and leave the rest. But remember; you are responsible for yourself, that is to say, able to respond (vs. react) to your triggers and cravings, so notice if you’re playing the “yea, but…“ game as you read. That is, “Yea, but I can’t do that because…“ If you are, just notice it and bring your attention back to your goal, reclaiming your power of choice and taking charge of your life.
People tend to be differently oriented towards what works for them; some more visual, some more physical, while others are more social, and so on. So the skill sets have been categorized into various dimensions for personal ease of access.
But don’t over categorize yourself. Review each dimension and choose the most useful suggestions to create your own personal list of coping skills. You will notice that some of the skills are repetitive and overlap. This is because there is no absolute distinction between any one of the dimensions that make us human. Like a good baked lasagna, these skills melt into each other creating a delicious action plan.
Now let’s get to work:
:
Go outside and look at something beautiful; a tree, a bird, whatever. Spend some time in nature if possible.
Count ceiling tiles or objects in the room, name the objects or colors of things you see
Look at soothing colors, patterns in objects around the room you’re in
Stare at a candle
flowers, baked goods, fresh cut grass, coffee beans, freshly popped popcorn, vanilla,
Sleepy time tea, leather, cedar, citrus fruits, a new car, fresh laundry, pine trees, herbs – such as mint, basil, lavender, etc.
Take your shoes off, feel your feet on the ground. Roll your bare feet on top of a golf ball, tennis ball or a foot massager.
Pretend you’re planting roots from your feet down into the ground.
Imagine a lead weight anchoring you to the ground.
Feel the texture of something in your proximity; stones, rice, beads, leather, wood, fabric, metal, tile, a plant, etc.
Take a hot or cold shower or a hot or cold soak.
Drink a glass of ice cold water.
Splash your face with cold water.
Put a cold compress on your forehead
Squeeze a rubber ball or some play dough.
Hold onto some ice.
Snap a rubber band around your wrist
Exercise (you don’t have to feel like doing it!) It can be as simple as going for a walk.
Mindful walking (with dignity), notice the sensation of your feet touching the ground.
Go for a drive to one of your favorite places. Hint; not the liquor store or your dealers house.
Deep breathing: Long, slow breaths or fast and shallow breaths.
Count your breaths; really feel the physical sensation of breathing in and out.
Practice formal meditation. Go to www.mindfulnesstapes.com for practice c.d.’s.
Practice yoga (or at least stretching on your own).
Clean one room in your home.
Cook something creative, even healthy.
Practice a hobby; there are more to choose from than can be suggested in this format.
Play computer games.
Run some errands.
Go out for a nice meal.
Service work: Help someone out with something or do some formal volunteer work.
Join a book club.
Get a massage / give a massage.
Get a hug from someone.
Pray. If you’re not religious or spiritual, call it positive affirmations or whatever you want, but re-affirm your intentions through silent contemplation.
Go to a S.M.A.R.T. Recovery meeting.
Go to a 12-step meeting.
Print this list and carry it with you. Bring it to life!
Sound:
Listen to music NOT associated with drinking / using.
Go outside and listen to the sounds of nature.
Listen to a relaxation c.d. or a book on tape.
Treat yourself to a favorite snack or comfort food.
Drink something flavorful, hot or cold.
Take a breath mint.
Chew gum.
Write in a journal:
See if you can identify patterns of when cravings happen; where you were, who you were with, what you were doing, what was the situation, what time of day, what day of the week, what was the trigger? Hunger? Boredom?
Do a crossword puzzle .
Play a video game.
Surf the web; there are many recovery oriented web sties/chat rooms etc.
Go to the library and choose from a large selection of motivational c.d.’s
Remember, cravings are temporary in nature. Every time you postpone a craving, and don’t give into it, it gets extinguished one more degree. This happens literally one moment, one breath at a time. Then reward yourself in a healthy way for not giving in.
Check your attitude; don’t allow yourself to indulge in thoughts or mental images about what you liked about drinking, using or any other self-defeating behaviors. This is called “Euphoric Recall,” and it is an insidious way of remembering only the enjoyable aspects and filtering out the entire reality of the memories.
Recall the devastation. Remember where it eventually leads when you give in. Substitute old images with new ones.
Work skillfully with your negative/irrational self-talk. Read one of the many books on this topic including “Feeling Good” by Dr. David Burns.
Acknowledge your progress so far.
Remember how much better you feel while clean and sober. If this isn’t true for you, look into getting some help for other and underlying issues.
Practice mindfulness, a present moment orientation. Observe what’s going on right here and now. What do you see? (name the objects), what can you hear? What can you smell? Feel the temperature of the air against your skin. Accept your experience in the present moment and allow the energy of the craving to move through and out of you.
Divide and concur; dissect the craving into it’s component parts; thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, attitudes, emotions, sensations, behaviors, images, impulses etc. This drastically deflates the power of the craving.
Emotional:
Watch an inspiring movie.
Read an inspiring book.
Write out a list of 10 things (nothing is too big or too small) you are grateful for right now.
Social:
Set up a network of people to be accountable to, and stay connected to them.
Call or visit someone who is supportive.
Talk out loud about your cravings with someone or just enjoy their company.
Go to a comedy club.
Hang out in a coffee shop; read, play chess.
Attend a twelve-step meeting.
Attend a Smart Recovery meeting.
March 18th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Thanks for all the suggestions, I’ve tried several of them and found them to be really useful